it is indeed a 5 day 9-5 program. since its a new group there are just a couple of us so its all very personal and direct right now. that will dissapate as the group grows but for now its very direct almost 1 on 1 therapy 8 hours a day. ugh.
i do this for 4 weeks then follow with a 13 week 3x a week program.

i guess im just asking myself if i really want the stability i keep saying i want.
i mean i do.
but it DOES call for self discipline... and what if i hate stability? what if its boring?
saying that i dont want chaos either... that slide into psychosis is terrifying and i want that out of my life. but thats that blind spot for me. i forget how bad it is at the bottom when i want to do something thats destabilizing.
its almost enough to make me want to give up.