I have been married for about a year now and i still dont get it, what does my husband really want from me. i have gathered this much that he wants me to be a thrifty wife who doesnt spend much,who even cuts down her basic expenses to minimum and believe me i am really trying hard to come upto his expectations but still sometimes i happen to spend money somewhere he thinks is unnecessary and then he flips out!! he stops talking to me, doesnt reply my texts except for insulting me. i forgot to mention that we have been living apart due to job reasons and intend to move in together soon. we are also expecting a baby and i know some of you guys will think im gonna be a terrible mother for saying this but when my husband treats me badly i just so want to hurt the unborn baby! i know that is so terrible, i even feel bad for writing it down. im suicidal and i dont want my baby to suffer through this life alone if i do end up killing myself eventually. i discussed my financial issues with my in laws today and basically lost my temper and they lost theirs and then i was the bad person who was disrespectful and the one with attitude! i so want to die right now and would probably had done that last night if i had 100% sure way of killing myself. i want to go in a peaceful way,probably by pills overdose, but if i survive the pills would still have severe effects on baby and i just want to disappear and not rot in hell. my husband says that he loves me but all that goes down the drain when he finally loses his temper and tells me that im a disappointment as a wife and that i have ruined his life. when he says this i dont think he really loves me or trusts me. he doesnt trust me with financial matters. what should i do? i cant go to a therapist, they are hell expensive and i live with my in laws i cant go without telling them and its just not appropriate to tell them either.