Stop hoping he will treat you better or waiting for the right time or blaming your Bipolar thats manipulation and gaslighting.

Regardless of your Bipolar NO ONE deserves to be treated this way... It doesnt matter that he treats the kids well ... How will you explain to the kids that your glasses are broken? How will you explain the black eye? You kids are not little trust me they probably know more than you think .

You need to leave him, leave him now! Sure a shelter is going to be tough and going through the process of getting the help you need is tough.

Whats to say he wont kill you next time ?? Your children will never get over that , never

Your a human being that deserves to be treated with respect, caring ,trust , not being hit at his whim regardless of your Bipolar ... Bipolar has nothing to do with it .. You left him once, leave him again .. A shelter can move you out of the area.

You deserve to be safe . You dont have a marriage you live with an abuser emotional and physical.