Yearning I have never been able to forget the post that you made on here about your mini mouse because the whole thing was so traumatic and abusive. The things that you have written about your parents here on many different occasions often worry me a great deal. Based on what you have written here previously I worry that your parents have done a great deal to harm you, and that at the moment you do not see that harm fully. It is a very hard thing to accept that those who were supposed to love and care for us can do so much damage. Often times this is so hard to accept that we end up protecting our parents.

In psychoanalysis people believe that the child protects their parent because this it is too difficult to deal with the knowledge that the one they are dependent upon is harming them, and they then turn all of the anger that they have toward that parent inward. In this school of thought it is critical that the client realize how they have been harmed and learn to direct that anger at the parent. By trying to maintain a relationship with your parents you may be protecting them and continuing the pattern of directing anger inward toward yourself. If you can not give yourself the space to truly think about and consider what happened then I worry that you will continue to hurt yourself.