Sorry I keep coming back to this thread.
It's just been so helpful, and I feel understood in a way I don't anywhere else...and no one else knows apart from my t any you guys, so it's amazing to be able to share.

So, something happened to me when I was thirteen, with someone a bit older (18?) and I wrote a story about it for t and then we talked about it. UGH.

Then, over the summer, I had memories which I didn't believe, about something else. Basically a family friend being inappropriate when I was fourteen ish. I told t, this is what this thread refers to.

The thing is...either, I have made up the stuff about the family friend, and these memories and the feeling that I really 'know' is not true, I have fabricated it...
OR these things both happened, independently of each other, to me. So there must be something that I did, or something about me, that asked for this.
Because to have both these events, with no connection, is implausible. I can see that.
My t must think that. She must think I'm either a liar, or I got myself in these situations, I consented, I asked for it.
Either way, I am horrible and disgusting.

I need to talk to t about this on Thursday but I just don't know where to start. She will think I am lying, or I am a slag, which is what I was told a lot when I was a teen. But one of those is true. Last session, when I told her about the 'memories',she said she was disgusted. With me?