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I started Topamax 7 days ago and it seems to be kicking in. Prior to that I was very up. I miss it. I was a machine at my job. In the world itself, I felt like I had a whip in my hand and could dominate everything (I'm submissive by nature). I felt impervious, invulnerable.
That's not my norm, although I'm good at my job. I miss it all. I don't want it to go away, even though it would have eventually. But I don't want it to never come back.
How do you deal with losing that?
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"Every person, on the foundation of his or her own sufferings and joys, builds for all." ~Albert Camus
Cymbalta, 60mg -- for the depression.
Latuda, 40mg -- for the paranoia (delusional type).
Adderall, 40mg XR & 5 mg reg -- for the ADD.
Xanax, .5 mg as needed -- for the anxiety.
Topamax, 50mg -- still figuring this one out.
MDD, but possibly have some form of Bipolar Disorder. Then again, I could be paranoid . . .
Well, at least I still have my sense of humor. 
Last edited by Velouria; Sep 13, 2014 at 09:37 PM.
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