I'm having such a hard time! I thought I was okay though I was teary this morning, but I was fine. I spent the day with people that I love and trust thinking this would help. Unfortunately, now I'm just a big pile of mess: tears, snot, the works. I've literally been crying for about two hours now and I can't seem to make it stop for longer than five minutes or so. This is unacceptable, I need to shut this down. This sounds weird but I feel like I really want to dissociate, even though I have no real concept of what that time is really like for me, but I can't. I feel like therapy had been effective on the way that it's stopping bad behaviors, but on the other hand I haven't been able to find good replacements and it's left me a mess.

I'm so sorry, this is all so ridiculous, but I just can't seem to get it together. I'm not going to call t, it's her weekend and her time to be with her kids, but should I try to move my appointment up, or send her an email?