I have a young male relative who has all those "great" physical attributes, but he's a total jerk. How you treat yourself and others is something you do have control over. Trust me, respect and kindness is a lot more attractive than muscles. I'm not saying that to dismiss your pain, which is immense and not to be disregarded. I just want to point out from the other side (and gender) that there's a lot more value in a person's heart than their hair or biceps. And that is definitely something you can do something about.