Your therapist's definition seems really strange.

I am one to say I'm needy. But they are emotional needs that, by definition, have to be met in a relationship. I can't meet them myself. Needing someone to believe in me, nurturing, comfort, soothing, reassurance, acceptance, etc. I feel especially needy when in emotional distress.

I frequently apologize to my therapist for being so needy. But he reassures me my needs are not too much for him, that he can handle all of my feelings, and that he is ok with my neediness.

But just because someone disavows their needs, doesn't mean that they don't exist. Some of the most needy people sometimes use this as a defense.

The example you used about carrying things is a prime example. I was so self-efficient and worked so hard to not have to need anyone that i have, in the past, actually carried furniture, including large dressers, entirely by myself. And down steps too. Just so i didn't have to ask anyone for anything. This coming from someone who is *so needy*. Looking back, i can't believe some of the things i did on my own.

My mother actually told me that when i was little, i had no needs. She said i always played quietly by myself, never fussed or cried, and as a newborn baby, slept through night as soon as i was brought home from the hospital. Later, i was steadily employed since the age of 10. No exaggeration. Again, this from someone who is so *needy*. Not just from this, but from other context, i think my mother was in denial that i was even born. Sort of like the people who give birth but didn't even know they were pregnant.

Adding:

I didn't read any of the responses before i replied. I didn't mean to negate anyone's concepts/personal experiences in my post.

This is pertaining to me and only me: to deny that I am not needy would be to deny that i never had normal, basic needs met as an infant and child. It would seem like a reality distortion to me, which for one, would trigger my PTSD. So if anyone said to me, "no, you are not needy", would not go too well at all. And needy does not always equate to demanding. It can be helpful to some, but I could never trust people who try to placate me using distortions.

Why deny reality? I AM needy. And I am ok with this. That's why I'm in therapy. I don't want anyone to try to distort the truth so that i feel better about it. If there's shame in feeling needy, disavowing it will never provide the opportunity to work through the issue and come to terms with it...acceptance.

I can so relate to the emptiness that others talked about here. The bottomless pit. Does it ever go away?