Hello, Lonewolf59. Your list of concerns on your profile page is akin (not identical) to my own.

At some point along the way, I lost the ability to care whether or not "I'm worth it." I just keep living, not hopelessly but - as I like to say - without reference to hope. "Hope" in the abstract is simply not useful for my day-to-day life.

About exercise and sleep: When depression was in the process of taking over my life, I ratcheted up my exercise regimens (plural) over the course of several years. My good-to-excellent level of fitness of those times may have slowed depression's advance, but it did not reverse or even stop it.

As for sleep, the docs discovered I have circadian rhythm issues, and a sleep study showed I have a relative lack of deep-stage sleep. It's possible to sleep more without sleeping better, and that's not something one can control with positive affirmations.

By the way, your "rant" was rather concise, not long at all. Please continue if you wish, especially if it helps you.