I've been reflecting a lot about how upsetting things affect me. I think I was just assuming that being upset was to be expected. Now I'm not sure about that. I am wondering if I have been reactive, when there may be another way, which is to be responsive. And then how to use therapy to work on this if that is a distinction that makes sense.

I can understand two different things about why I thought that being reactive was not a problem. First when I entered therapy I was totally emotionally ignorant. So all this work to open up to emotions and learn about them I guess I was taking as improvement.

Second the other part is that although I don't have most of the other symptoms of PTSD any more, I do still have times of hyperarousal. So I am still sensitive and vulnerable to things that can set me off that have even physiological effects. And it is difficult to return to baseline once that is all set off.

I don't want to go backwards and over control emotions, but it does seem that there could be a big difference between being reactive and being responsive. I've never had a goal like this before and not sure how to approach it and use therapy to work on it.