(note: I don't know how or why the word "ordinal" showed up in my last post! Swyping error & lack of proof reading I guess.)
Anyway, since he doesn't give me ques as to when something may have happened that needs validation, I find myself playing detective, watching what's going on in his environment (when he's home) to see if I need to intervene, address a problem that he won't tell me about, & see if he will talk to me about his feelings. Like, one time he & his brother got into a dispute. I went to see about him 1st, then was going to go confront his brother. But he just kept telling me, "no, it's ok mom. Don't worry about it! Just, don't say anything to him. It's ok." I didn't know what to think about that. Was he REALLY not bothered by what his brother had done? Or was it ENOUGH for him that I came to check on him & deal with the situation? Things that I think would surely upset him that I try to validate his feelings on, often times he just shrugs off & says "Eh, don't worry about it. It's no big deal." So my question is, is he really that "thick skinned" that he really DOESN'T let as many things bother him as I think would? Do I assume too much, & try to"fix"problems that may not exist? Or am I UNDERestimating the problem? I want him to feel the same love, connection, bond from me as his siblings. I want him to know (through my actions toward him) that he is loved & valued every bit as much as the others, but I can't tell if that is communicated effectively, since there may be things I've missed.