Hi everyone, I'm looking for some help and advice. I have been with my husband for 4 years and married for 1. We have 3 kids in total 12 step daughter who has a obsessive compulsive personality disorder and is extremely difficult, a 10 year old step daughter, and a biological son 1. The ex has many problems with drugs and is in and out of jail and rehab and lierally has seen her girls 10 times in 5 years. Sad i know but it isnt because she dosent love them it is trully an illness for sure. Her and I have a great relationship and I am always honest with her about the boundaries we have set for her with the girls to protect them. We currently share a home with my Mother since I have Nephrotic (kidney) lupus and currently not working and have been a stay at home Mother for 3 years. My question is this.....my step daughter has been big issue in our relationship and gets worse with age. She is very demanding, inflexible, and minipulative. She causes fights a lot with my husband and I am has a tight hold on him. She is very good at getting him to feel bad for her and override me on punishment or telling her she cant do something. He is always correcting me in how i handle her when he dosemt handle her at all. She is very disrespectful to me and causes big rifs in the home. I feel no sence of loyalty with my husband with her to set a united front as parents together. It like she comes before me and thats not ok. We agreed i would be an active Mother since they never had one and needed one desperately. I would explain further but it would take a lomg time. Lets just say they had a lot of depression, feelings of abondonment, and had no rules or boundaries due to my husband and his family feeling "bad" for them. We fight constantly over her and it has not gotten better at all. It has made me miserable and feel as though it has consumed our lives since even the smallest task....such as ...cleaning up dinner dishes...or do your homework is met with an attitude and arument that drags on because she dosent back down. Now my mother is involved getting mad at me for all the upset, and my husband acts like nothing is happening. I am outcasted by even my own Mother and now it is even worse. After years of this and even though i , ove my husband i feel it may be time to leave. I love my 10 year old and fear i wont see her and obviously my son will stay with me, but how? I dont work and have no where to go. How can i provide for my child in a safe happy way alone? I know many have done it but i need help. I dont know where to start. I dont want to bleed him moneywise that takes away from my kids, so I am lost for ideas

thanks in advance for any advice