I've been dealing with suicidal urges, off and on (mostly on) since March of this year. I've been in the hospital, in a PHP, in and out of work. I have a full-time job in a field I love, and just recently started grad school in my field as well. I have a lot going for me, like a supportive boyfriend and great friends. But none of that seems to matter. It's an unreal drive toward destruction. I made a serious attempt a few months ago, and a few other near attempts since. I just don't see how I can possibly last much longer. I need help and I don't know what to do.