My cat is in the hospital, and the prognosis isn't good. Probably 3 months, maybe up to 2 years. Kidney and cardiac disease, and she's lost a kg since last year. She's 16, and i've had her since she was 5 weeks old. She's my best friend, and has been with me through some very dark times. There were times when i would have killed myself, except i didn't want to leave her alone. So she has literally saved my life. Now i'm home by myself, and she is at the vet, and i'm crying. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I am having thoughts of self harm, which i haven't had in years. I don't think i will act on the thoughts though. I actually just took a saphris, which i usually hate, because i'm hoping it will put me to sleep. I don't know if i should restart all my meds to help me cope with my cat being sick, i don't want to, but i might need to. I'm just so sad.