I saw your ending quote to "just let me die" - I feel that way most of the time but my T. is working with me on it. I have a promise that I won't do anything. I set short-term goals - like I am going to see the Dalai Lama in September so I have to keep going til then - then I will find a new goal to reach. I cannot remember a time in my life when I have really wanted to live - I am hoping that with my T. help and with meditation I can change my life around and discover happiness.

Mars