hello let me first say I used to do the exact same thing I used to sell weed and lsd to support my habbit, not trying to give you any ideas just qualifying myself that being said let me give you some advice you should take STAY AWAY from psychedelics if you are bi polar you are already tripping in a way you are going up and down withouth knowing what is going on and if you get manic while tripping well thats something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy be honest with the professionals you can trust and give the meds a chance trust me i was diagnosed at 15 and it took me going to prison for 2 years to find out the right meds actually work they just take some time and that means staying away from the drink and drugs as best you can for about two weeks and if you can't and you truly want to stop self medicating try going inpatient they will regulate you and help you detox safely there is so much i would like to talk to you about but im going to cut it off here cuz you need help and you took the first step so i know its scary and you probably are confused right now not knowing whats right or wrong at the moment but just do yourself a favor and take another step do something like make a call to the therapist and let them know you need to talk good luck i know how hard it is to do something you want do when you dont want to do it when you need to oh and i take abilify and latuda message me if you feel the need to talk