I am so sorry to hear about your loss. If it means anything I am going through almost the same thing. The thing that is helping me through it is just getting what I need done throughout the day and trying to not think about it. I cant deal with making the decision to cut it off or not. It hurts too bad and creates way more problems that it solves. I am just going to back off and wait for my best friend to realize that I have been here through the thick and thin while this guy is just another guy. It is just the honeymoon phase right now. And it freaking sucks. But hugs to you