Hi people,
Few months ago one of my best friends killed himself. We spoke almost everyday, I helped him earlier few times when he had bad mood... mood for suicide. On the end I had lot of problems and chaos at home and with my life and I couldn't be always for him, still we spoke everyday. When I went to Italy and had no Internet he decided to ed his life. My last memories? We spoke almost 2 hours on the phone laughing and making jokes. After couple of months i could finally go to hist tomb and say goodbye. But suddenly I realized I never believed he is not with us anymore. I would love to hear it's a cruel joke and it's not true.
I didn't know he is so important for me and I can not live without him... I miss him and talk to him and somehow it's totally abstract that I lost him... everything is so hard... every si gleich muscle is in pain and I want him back so badly that I can not breath...
We weren't a couple. We loved each other just as a friends. But he was best friend and I can not find myself without him...
Does someone know how to deal with it...? Please... I really miss him... feel myself like without air...