First of all sorry I haven't been on here for a month, but I was on vacation and my internet access was much more limited than expected.

I got home on Thursday and have been pretty busy since... yesterday was my 2 year-old goddaughter's birthday party. Something really low-key at my friend's house with the stable owners and a couple close friends. When it was time to say goodbye, the stable owner was so drunk he started groping me, kissing my neck, trying to reach under my shirt.... I felt so disgusted and tried to stop him. But everyone around me was laughing so hard, it made it nearly impossible for me to stop him, until I curled up in a ball on a chair, pretending to laugh too to protect myself...
I feel so dirty since and this has really affected me... even though I know it was nothing too bad. But it reminded me of so much worse...

Today I had group for the first time since the summer break, and I so wanted T to notice how I was doing.... she didn't and I feel more lonely than ever...

Worst is I had to cancel my session for friday due to work and she had no spot until early october... I don't know how to cope until then... I might ask my boss if I can come to work late on friday but I doubt he'll be ok with it. And I need to do it before she fills the spot....

Sorry for the ranting, but I feel like a worthless piece of crap, and T didn't even bother noticing... on top of this she casually said she's working from home starting in Decembre, which is an hour's drive for me.... I hate it!