Hi SadAndEmpty, welcome to PC!!
I'm sorry you're feeling like this.........sometimes it can feel like there's nothing you can do but just "get by", but do you think it's your feelings you want/need to change, your life, or maybe a bit of both???
If you could change anything..................??
Although sometimes depression can come from either the smallest trigger, or even out of "nowhere" for no apparent reason and drag you down........and down..........
Do you have a pdoc or T there to support you, who you can talk to??
Not that I'm saying that everyone will need to go that route........but just a thought............
And of course if you want to talk a bit more here, there are plenty of really understanding, supportive people.
Again, welcome!!
Alison