hey. crying IS hard. i try and remember Linehan... when she talked about feeling emotions. feeling them come and go like waves lapping on the shore. feeling them come and go without clinging to them and without pushing them away.

i haven't let rip in front of my therapist. i think... thats probably a good thing, actually. for me... letting rip kind of means clinging to them. holding onto the thought that keeps the emotion refiring.

i've only cried once in front of him. similarly to you, i think. no snot (thank god!). just water running down my face.

> I wish you could love me all the time, not just when you want to." About how I didn't even argue with my husband because he is right-- how I cannot give myself fully and it saddens me so much. That at times, I am just not present.

i think i get what you mean... but... i think you do love him all the time. it is just that sometimes one isn't fully present because of other stuff, like you said.

over time... it might get easier to behave in a loving way even when one doesn't feel very loving.

perhaps.