I know how you feel. I have often prayed I would wake up dead and not have to do it myself. Or that I would get in a fatal accident and it would not be my fault. Or even to get a fatal fast acting disease. In my experience it can be a very debilitating, lonely, horrendous disease.

You may think about therapy. And you may check out this section.
Other Treatments - Forums at Psych Central

I have come off of Pristiq and many others without any problems. I am very lucky when it comes to side effects and withdrawal symptoms though. I don't even get withdrawal when I quit caffeine.