I am having a really hard time with my son. He has been very irritated and upset lately. His moods vary depending on what the variables of the particular situation are. He is bigger than me and much angrier. There is a lot of cursing and yelling. When I reply to him in a calm manner he seems to want to be more upset that I am not engaging in any type of struggle with him. He attempts to be very manipulative and is disrespectful, today he called me a "fu***** B". He will make statements like' If you don't give me my iPad, I will have to cut myself.' I do not play this game. (also, he has not cut himself. He threatens it often as has for years. I hope this doesn't sound mean, but I am not going to be manipulated by my 15 year old son. I cannot enable this kind of behavior. I asked him what he wanted to accomplish with this threatening holding a steak knife in his hand. I advised him that certainly I was not about to enter into a physical altercation with my son and he put the know down and was like-come on! Bring it. He wants me to fight with him. This is really starting to be a huge problem.

Now he got suspended today for bringing a stick that looked like a knife of sorts and a mask to school. He also put a mask on at lunch and was "staring down" a girl that he met this year at school who he talked to for a couple weeks who decided that she didn't want to be more than friends. The stick was something he had while he was hanging out with his gf this weekend- apparently it was a piece of her walking stick that broke and he didn't realize he had taken it to school. He claims that he forgot he had it with him. Today, like many other days before he said if he got arrested he would kill himself. When asked if he had a plan, he said no but he could then proceeded to go on about possible methods (the school tells me- he refuses to talk to me about it.) I am at my wit's end.
I have been to countless IEP meetings, Therapists, Psychiatrists, doctors, counselors, meetings with advocates, etc. I feel like I am not getting anywhere. He is currently taking medication : 40mg fluoxetine & 1 mg Risperdal daily. I am torn because I truly believe that I can give him better opportunities than his dad can. His dad lives in Tennessee and he has never lived with his dad since we split up in '07. He sees him 2-3 times a year on average. His dad can be very opinionated and rude but on the other hand they do really care for and love one another.I am torn. I love him so much but I really feel that it is not ok for me to have to live my life like this. I am kind of afraid that one day he might hurt me, not on purpose but because of his temper and impulsivity, not to mention his size- he is almost 6 ft and 200#.
Oops- also, he is a person with Asperger's. He was diagnosed very late- in 2012 at the age of 12 1/2.

ANy words of advice? I really do not want him to go live with his dad. We have really worked a lot of years at trying to regulate behaviors and find solutions to our issues in the past. I know I have taught him a lot of good things, along with the therapists, we implement schedules, he has chores, etc. I am really frustrated and really need some help...