HazelGirl...you have not wrecked everything... Now after reading your last post I remember you have a thread about really wanting to talk to your T about something but not being able to and feeling a lot of shame...

Perhaps there is a part of you who is trying to convince you that it's ruined or to try to ruin it with your T so you will not discuss this. I think if you will go in on Wednesday and talk about the original thing it will relieve these feelings...(I apologize if I am not remembering correctly)

The "I don't need anybody for anything" is my go to defense mechanism... Think it might mean you are getting close to something big in T?