You're in a lot of distress and I am sorry. Just know that the way you're thinking isn't rational: you're catastrophizing and projecting your distress onto your T. She'll be okay and you'll still have a relationship with her after this storm has passed.

What's the most calming thing you know how to do? Can you try a marathon of that?

And do you do DBT? It's really helpful to me in situations like this.