SnakeChamer is spot on for advice concerning your situation.

The only thing I would add is hopefully your husband will be on board for couples Therapy, I also think it would be wise for you to have a therapist of your own it can be helpful for you to learn ways to handle stress as having Lupus is exhausting and dangerous for you. It will also help along your disability claim in most cases.

Im really sorry your having such a rough time.