Its def worse when in the rock bottom end of depression.when in rly dark place it can feel like there's not point to anything, nothings right, and be unbearable. It is good when I can feel myself becoming freer, thinking more clearly, interacting with others more, finding interests etc..feeling more energetic.. People respond more positively to me then.. people notice changes, that I look well..but It can be quite dramatic, quick for me to fall back into depressive, anxious trap. I have noticed reemerging, repetitive issues over the years. There's always been some negative, stress induced trigger, factor, something I find unhelpful,unfair,difficult, disappointing, that sends me downwards. Its those triggers, factors I need to address, learn to deal with better so I reduce vulnerability to stress and depressive episodes.