Quote:
Originally Posted by Depressed-Fiance
No she hasn't apologised for choking me. All she said was that she was sorry for the tussle (which I presume she means is the pre-physical violence?)
She hasn't acknowledged that she was in the wrong to start the whole cycle of violence, nor has she apologised, she hasn't cried like I did and she just shifts the blame onto me.
Thanks, well I don't believe in hitting women but I had to on this occasion because my life was in danger. I've never hit a woman ever before and I did kind of feel bad for clouting her for which I did apologise but she said she can't forgive or trust me for punching her - what does trust have to do with anything?!
I am happy to take some counselling & it will be beneficial to us and haven't taken all the blame, it's just that she doesn't accept that she is at fault whatsoever. 
Do you think people like her ever change in terms of violence and is it a case of once they do it, they'll always do it? |
In my experience my 3 exes were all abusive, and I became abusive as well due to taking up for myself and fighting back when attacked. After our splits, they probably went on to abuse the next person. I am actually sickened by violence and don't even spank my children, because it is too easy for me to lose control and I fear I would take it too far. So I think it is possible to change if you really want to, but not if it's your set pattern of behavior. Snapping and resorting to violence as an outlet for anger is much easier than recognizing the feeling, acknowledging it, breathing through it, and willing it to go away. If you have no experience it is even harder to learn rather than react.
I'm genuinely sorry you two have had this experience, and I hope that she will be willing to seek help before her violence becomes normal behavior for her. Good luck!
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