This is all going to turn out okay, even if right at this moment you are not at all certain that it will. But it really will.

With regards to 'why does she put up with this crap?' my guess is because this is all just part of the process and she knows that. Being vulnerable can be pretty scary stuff, and it's pretty typical to want to run away and close up again. Your T will get this, and she will *know* that when it gets tough and you want to run away, you will soon be ready to give it another try again.
It will be okay.