I feel like I've been fighting to keep my head above water the past month or so and I've been feeling particularly horrendous this week. Tried to come off lamotrigine because I was convinced that God didn't want me on meds anymore and that my diagnosis was a lie. I've come to my senses now and am taking my regular dose. I managed to call up community mental health today to refer myself to a psychiatrist so I'm proud of that. I really think I should be on an anti-depressant alongside lamotrigine because I keep getting depressed and it's exhausting. I want to be better so very badly and I want to be able to manage this illness. I keep getting a taste of normality and then having it taken away from me and it's driving me insane.