In addition to your treatment perhaps it would help let's God to embrace you, even your bad decisions in the past. Put everything in God's Mercy. I am not a believer, but when I believed in God, it was natural to think that all was contained in God and that trying to recreate the past was absurd in that context. He now has your past mistakes and they are in His Mercy. It is an exercise to live just in the present moment of the Mercy of God. I do not know if you can reach the adequate group or church to help you with these spiritual exercises. They are also exercise to practice humility before God. We do not have superpowers, we are not perfect, on the contrary, we have many failures and shortfalls. But we can give them to God every time, and start again every time in God.