You are not really "in love" with the man on line. You don't know him. You are in love with an imaginary man you have created in your mind.
Concentrate on finding employment. When you start having some money in your pocket, you will feel better than you do now. Your head will be clearer, and then you can think through the option of leaving. But wait till you get the job. Everything seems bad now, but that may be temporary.
Another point: This man you met on-line . . . if he knows you are married and he encouraged you to bond with him, then he is not a very nice man.
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