Quote:
Originally Posted by Manic Trance
I am unmedicated, I was diagnosed bipolar II by three people and prescribed Lithium but I never took it. I saw a nutritionist and pursues other life style options. When I am doing it it works to reign me in a lot, but it is hard to maintain. For example, if my life structure gets topsy turvy I fall really far. I am saying all of this to say that one of the reasons I did not get on the meds was because of the feat that is being discussed here. I love being high! I don't have long depressive phases, but they are brutal and I am depersonalized or derealized a lot. I also lose touch at a certain point when I am high, make crazy plans that end up crashing and burning somewhere. Each time I think, man I should just go on meds, but I am scared to lose those highs. :-/
I feel ya...
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I haven't been diagnosed bipolar but feel that I might be for a variety of reasons. My doctors say I have bipolar components (agitation and paranoia are the most pronounced as far as they know).
But I felt the Topamax slowed me down too much at work last week. I skipped it today. I should give it a good, honest shot because I have to be honest -- I didn't blow through 3/4 of my savings this summer solely out of depression. I'd have felt way too guilty/not had the motivation to spend that much money. And I live at home and don't pay rent so . . . I really need to figure something out to get that sort of behavior under control. I'm supposed to be saving up to move in with my boyfriend. I was honest with him and told him about it.
That slowed down side effect goes away for some. I'm just used to being a machine when I'm working. I hate stuttering along. I have to give it a few more weeks, I'm just experiencing a dilemma over it.