Hello everyone,
I will try to make this as short as possible. I'm 15 years old and for some time now I've been wondering if there's something wrong with me, if I'm 'messed up'. Obviusly that's subjective but I'd like to get a second opinion other than my own.
I label myself as a skepticist and an atheist. In the last year or so I've come to realize I'm also bisexual and I'm into BDSM. I'm socially awkward and shy even though once a get to know another person, if I find them interesting I quickly become friends with them I only have one good friend (I know, that's all you need!) and I'm not so good at making friends usually. Exluding school, I spend most of my time at home, mainly on the PC (listening to music, watching stuff on youtube, exploring new things, being on forums etc.) and I rarely ever go out anymore and when I did it was usually once or twice a week. I think that if I were more confident with my body I wouldn't be show shy and I would gain confidence. (I'm actually pretty good looking(In my humble opinion) other than acne and my pale skin) Another regret I have that was caused by my lack of confidence was not doing something about a girl I liked (We were friends and chatted around last year when were both taking english classes) and now I never see her anymore because she's on a different english 'level' plus she has a boyfriend. But even now I know it would be very hard for me to 'ask her out' or something. So the last few months I've been getting more and more into BDSM (crossdressing, humiliation, pain - probably weird stuff for you guys) and would definitely want to have some real life experiences when I'm old enough.

So, do you think I'm just weird and shy or is something wrong with me? Let me just add, I live with my mother and brother at the moment and when I was a kid my mom and dad sed to fight a lot. It turned out my dad sufferes from schizophrenia and he goes through very bad phases about once a year. (We got through some rough times a few years back but for some reason I everything seemed light to me...You know, I didn't 'blame' my parents for what was happening and I love them both. )Anyways by dad is currently in a different country where the clinics are much better and he gets the treatment he needs. Another think I remember that might have harmed my phychology is that for SOME reason I tried to look and looked for porn on the internet when I was like 8 or 9 and did weird stuff not knowing how to 'jerk off'.

Please let me know what you think about all this.

P.S. I'm a very logical person and never did any self-harm or anything that would put my life in danger.