I am struggling with my T relationship lately. I will just say straight out, I never imagined that I would ever be T's friend, I don't have romantic feelings for him, I don't want to be is favorite, or special client.. These things aren't my issues.. My issues really stem from the manufacturedness (I know not a word) of this relationships.

I mentioned last month here on PC.. how when T went on vacation he told me he would only be out of town for a bit, but be around town while not in the office, and if I needed I could call/text him. At, first.. I was like aww.. what a great T. Then, It came to the realization that it really is part of his stradedgy.. I am a bit more of a needy client, I struggled to keep the connection week after week and he knows that is what I need.

I told T about that realization, along with the idea that it makes no sense that the T seeks to make a connection with the client which ends when the clients "gets better." And he told me that is not a stragedy more like a treatment plan, a treatment plan that I have come to him and asked for. And that totally makes sense.. but it still bothers the hell out of me.

So, why does it bother me that my T is doing what Ts do? He is being a great T, he is trying to help me, he is seeing my needs and trying to meet them. But it all feels very fake, and I don't like fake...