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Purplesept2007 · Sep 16, 2014, 09:09 PM

Hey cryingontheinside,

Quote:

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I cant bring my self to tell the truth when asked how i am. I always lie and say im fine. Im not fine.
i really dont know how much more of feeling like this i can take.
I dont know what to do any more.
I really hate myself, everything about me, what i say what i dont say.
Can any one relate to how im feeling? And do you suffer on silence the way i do, rather than fighting for help?

Let me tell you I have been were you are at and it so horrible a feeling. Suffering in silence just does not work. So yes I can relate. Those closet to me know that if I say I am fine now I am in tremendous trouble. Sounds to me like you are close to rock bottom or at least how you are stating things I know I was when I was feeling that way (about 7 years ago was my rock bottom). Actually anniversary is only 4 days away. Because of the love of some very dear friends (probably not sure I felt that way when I was called down (escorted) to HR. At the time I was scared to death but also knew it was were I needed to be long story short ended up in psych ward for 5 days and truly saved my life at that point.

I don't know if you have any friend that could go with you to the hospital but if they could I think I would try that. Also you did not say if you are in any therapy and/or taking medication so these may be some avenues you want to check too. If you want to talk anytime just send me a PM. Especially if you would like to know more of my personal details if that would help. Please know we do care here because I believe most of can relate to something someone else is going through because we have been there ourselves. Hang in there...