I've been where you are. It sucks.and the only thing that you can do is just keep finding ways that keep distract from what's going on. I'm not going to pretend that it is easy, because it isn't.There are many questions I could ask, but the one that I am going to ask is this, When things have been this bad before, what have you turned to? I'm not looking for what others did, I'm looking for what you did. If you choose to answer that's fine, if not just know that there are others out there that feel just like you do.