hi nora
you may be past the point of being able to eat normally without getting professional help. are you able to consult with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders to assist you? I cant offer sound advice. I can tell you my sisters story if you want to hear it. just private or visitor message me and I will be happy to share it with you. it is about what happens when an eating disorder gets out of control. I will forward this post to one of our liaisons who has experience in this area. welcome to psych central.