Sky, you can function in the world, but you need help sometimes, sometimes lots. I've met some very, very capable disabled people who went on to get married or take jobs, but they came from families who didn't totally *&^% them up.

Mine did.

When you do function in the world, it tries your sanity to the max. The world is built for able-bodied people and it treats you that way. People assume you are stupid, incapable, or worse. They can think you're courageous and noble, just because you're in a wheelchair.

I read a story of a college teacher who gave a woman with CP a D instead of a B+ because she didn't think the woman would make a good teacher because she walked funny. And she told her so to her face.

You are never instantly sure of anything in life, even a vocation,because other people tell you what you are or are not capable of doing, even though you may be very bright

It may take you years to discover that you can do the things that other people can do, but you do them differently or with a lot of help. Having psychiatrists tell you that you are depressed because you cannot do the things that normal, intelligent people do, quite frankly it hurts. I wanted to ask the shrink who said that for a list of things that she thought I couldn't do.

Live on my own?
Get married?
Have kids?
Hold down a job?

I have heard of disabled people who were able to do all of these things. I am sure that I could hold down a job if the circumstances were right. (I would likely have to work from home. As it stands now, it looks like my pain may leave me bedridden. I can at least write from that position).

Most of my pain is caused by the fact that I am deliberately excluded from society by the barriers that other people leave in place. The technology exists for us to lead full, rich lives. There is no real excuse for excluding us from society, save lack of political willpower.

Then there's the boneheaded comments, especially those from people who should know better, like psychiatrists.

I have thought of getting a degree in psychiatry should things improve. I think I could really help people. But I wonder what sort of discrimination I would contend with, even among the professors in the university, based on my physical disabilities and my psychiatric history. One I can hide, the other I can't. (I wish I didn't have to hide my fight with mental illness. It's a big reason why I would study psychiatry.)

Personally, I think society is built to drive people with disabilities insane. ("Hey, it's perfectly okay for them to stay on welfare until they rot. The government will take care of them." Well, I want to take care of myself.)

It might not be possible for me now. My pain prevents it. But for my compatriots, why not?

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.