I'm gonna give you a little tough love here - instead of trying to break down what occurred into its fundamental properties or doing the "what if" or "should I have said this to make her realize.." game, you need to have a strong back bone and end the relationship and cut contact for your own good (and her's).
You said, "I want to be able to make her see that I did not cause this at all..." She literally doesn't care, at all. She already knows 100% that she flipped out and it wasn't a normal reaction - there is nothing you can say to her that will make her agree that you are right.
The way she is turning this all around on you is proof that she knows what she did was wrong. No matter how you spell it out for her, she will only try to twist and manipulate you even more - rendering you more confused, mad, and hurt.
At one point you say you want to "help" her and the next sentence you say you want her "behind bars". I personally think any smart person would "run for the hills" instead, in this situation and not get elbow deep into a mess of drama with someone who is crazy.
Wish you the best and don't get suckered into any more mind games no matter how much you think you're meant to be with someone.