Honest answer? You know you have to leave this guy. He's not a loved one, he's an abuser. People get "trapped" in these relationships, but just because you feel trapped doesn't mean you are. I was once with a man who made a 400K income a year to my 0$, and I felt helpless to leave his abusing cheating sorry sack of **** self. But one day he did just one more unforgivable thing and bough broke, and I did what it took. It was uncomfortable, but in the end it has made me 100 times more comfortable in my little miserable life.