waiting4 ~ That was eloquent! Yes to everything you said.

And in my case, I also discovered a unique and dead-on correlation of behavior with my NPD friend and his ACoA status. While it garnered some quiet sympathy & more understanding on my part, this person was/is too far into himself to Ever come out. His line was, "everyone leaves me eventually". But I made sure he understood that it was His foot in my back, pushing me out, and that I would never close that door, it would always be open a crack if he made the effort to open it. And he did just that, only to slam it shut once again when he got the affirmation he needed. We stay on the outer edges of each others' lives, and That is the way it has to be for me.
Pity. I adored him and would have done anything to ease his pain. Oh well.