It's a general question I guess though I am having a specific problem with this that I have recognized before but it is really clear right now.

In the process of doing therapy, I've learned about how to talk things through, even if difficult, and get to an understanding. It may be hard for various reasons, but the result tends to make it worth the effort.

When I have tried to do this outside therapy with people who have not been exposed to therapy or who are not open to this sort of thing, I've been very frustrated, sometimes upset, and usually disappointed. It just doesn't seem to work out that well. Sometimes I even regret trying because it makes things worse.

I don't know if it is just my own experience, and if so what I need to do about it. Or maybe others have had this happen too?

Or maybe others have had positive results? Then maybe I could learn something about how that happens.