No need to apologize! I think everyone would agree that you are very brave to speak out and ask for support. I truly do understand feeling as though you can't CHOOSE to leave right now. That doesn't mean that you aren't learning and storing up the skills you'll need to get out at some point. I think you are right on the money by saying, "he loves me but doesn't respect me." Keep that sentence in your head as you begin to make your plan for an escape into a new life.

PS I felt such tenderness hearing about your care of your sick dog. I had a dog (passed a year and half ago) who had terrible skin lesions. The only thing that worked for him was being totally taken off all meat and wheat products. It worked pretty well but boy was the dog food EXPENSIVE! I hope the vet is able to figure out the right combination for you pup.