Very briefly let me try to explain some of what I have going on:

5 months ago- my affair with my married lover was discovered by his wife. We had been together for almost 3 years. Needless to say- everything he told me- all of the plans- everything was a lie. And I have been trying to pick up the pieces and move on since then.

We live in the same small town so I do run into them from time to time. I have had basically NO contact with him since a couple of weeks after this happened.

About every three weeks or so- I feel really strange. I get really nauseous, can't concentrate, and every thought I have is of him. I feel drawn to him almost. Then if I pass him in traffic- the feeling of ache and loneliness is not there anymore and I am good until the next time it comes on.

For instance- for the last couple of days the pain has been unbearable. So last night- out of the blue I said "to him"- please stop doing this to me. You made your choice and it isn't me. Please let me go so that I can move on with my life." I felt some better.

My worry is this: # 1 that I am talking to myself #2 is it even possible to have some sort of connection with him that this could actually be from him #3- if so- how do I cut that cord?

Please help me. I am actively seeing a therepist and am on two types of depression medication. By all accounts- I am doing much better than when this first happened. And these feeling are not all the time.

I know that my life as I know it is better without him. No doubt in my mind.

Thoughts??