For some, the structure benefits them by somewhat resembling a parent relationship. One thing can resemble another and not be 100% the same.

I would say that therapy is about 5% to 10% like a parent relationship for me. In other words, I would like a trusted other to talk to and run ideas by, someone who knows me, knows my story, and can listen and engage with a mind toward who I am and what is best for me.

I have spent substantial money creating a situation where there is a human being who knows my story. In other words, I've put in a lot of time and paid for many therapy hours to help this therapist know who I am. In return, the therapist has become more useful to me as a resource over time.

For her part, the therapist has been eager to help and has wanted to fulfill this role. I recently tried to fire my therapist and posted about it here. The therapist worked with me to repair the relationship and I am now thinking that it was good not to throw all of that away, precisely because I do not have good-enough parents.

Some of my closest friends use their parents in the way that I use my therapist. I do not have parents to talk to, or seek affirmation from, and so my therapist in part plays that role. Thus, I am not offended by the parent analogy.

I am under no illusions that the therapist loves me like she would her own children. I think she puts on a persona and forgets about me as soon as I leave the room.

But when I am in the room, whatever personality she turns on feels real enough that I know that it is real - even if only for that hour and even if (maybe even especially because) I am paying for precisely that.