Thanks. Yeah, I guess we can only take care of our own side, make boundaries if needed, and checkin as you say hankster.

Mastadon, yes I understand. I too have learned more about how to be in a relationship in the first place and how to take up space in whatever way is right for that relationship. Still your example is the kind of thing that ends up going wrong for me. It's great that it worked out for you and even led to a discussion. When I point out that something hurt me, the person tends to take it as a criticism of them so doesn't react well at all. You did add that this person was in therapy. I do think that makes a difference. People who have had therapy seem a little bit more open to having this type of discussion.