yes. exactly. one can relate to, truly identify with, but cannot feel another person's feelings because our feelings are personal and come from our own experiences. you can have the same experience as I and have the same emotional response, but since we are separate we are feeling separate feelings.

for example if we were both assaulted in exactly the same way at the same time in the same room by the same person...we would have separate experiences and while we might have the same emotional response of rage, your rage is your rage and mine is mine. You can only feel yours and I can only feel mine.

I am hard of hearing and growing up that way with no help is an issue with me. my analyst is not hard of hearing but she always pulls that into what we are talking about and will include how being hard of hearing adds a dimension to what we're talking about. She pauses and reflects for a minute or so and imagines what that would be like. She feels frustrated when we talk about it, like I feel or felt. but she isn't feeling my feeling, she is feeling her own feeling and her own frustration comes from her own personal experiences of frustration; calling on that, she can empathize with my plight and feelings.

separateness is an interesting thing to explore

ECHOES