Thanks. It's interesting to hear about other people's experiences. It seems, to generalize, that people feel better about their side of the relationship, which is cool. I was totally clueless before I started therapy. And even after I started to get a clue, it still took time before I got anywhere.

I guess I don't necessarily take people that are intellectually focused as unhealthy. That I value emotional awareness and abilities to express and contain them is something I have developed. Others may not value these things or may not want to develop this aspect of themselves for whatever reasons. In the cases I'm thinking of all the people are seniors so expecting them to change so much when they've spent a very long time doing things another way seems like it may be too much to ask for. Again, though I don't want to be that way myself, I'm not sure that I can say they are unhealthy. They learned how to be in the world when the world was different. It is as much a cultural difference as a personal thing. Perhaps that is why it just feels so frustrating. I want to be able to relate in a way that to me feels more open and flexible, but I can't expect others to feel that way too.